Monthly Archives: June 2012

ANGRY ??

 

AFFIRMATIONS THAT HELP FOCUS ON FUTURE CONSEQUENCES OF ANGRY ACTIONS

  • What goes around comes around .
  • My decision to hurt someone physically , socially , or emotionally will ultimately have consequences that are not worth the energy i would spend attacking and hurting .
  • The person i hurt may not hurt me back but may have a support system that will respond in a way that will try to punish me .
  • It is better to allow someone to identify themselves as a jerk than to display a side of me that will only cause others to identify both me and my adversary that ways .
  • It is easier to prevail in every argument by remaining calm and letting my adversary self-destructive .
  • I would gladly sacrifice an ounce of pride to avoid a night in jail. Any other choice just spites me and accomplishes the goals of he people who are my adversaries .
  • Anger is poison. Anger is the brief madness . When I let those who I do not like get to me , I am permitting them to force me to poison myself.
  • Ultimately , disengaging from an angry interaction is always a win because I protect future , my freedom , and my ability to express myself in more important ways.
  • There is no point in remaining in an argument just to see how angry I can make someone else.
  • Remember L.A.S.T – Listen Assess Stop Turnaway .

 

MANTRA – I WILL KEE MY PATIENCE AND DEDICATION AND I WILL KEP ON PRACTICING TO CONTROL MY ANGER.

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HEY KIDS ! WANT TO BE LISTENED ?

 

Dear kids , do you always make efforts to be popular ; to be liked by others ; to be listened ?

Do you this you are getting under this pressure to be accepted by your peers ?

How about achieving this by just training yourself some magical tips … Thus talk so others listen and listen so that others talk to you.

Just remember and understand some important points :

  1. When people are upset questions and criticisms can make them feel worse. Just imagine being judged or questioned when you are sharing a sensitive feeling with your close friend . You don’t like it Right !Same is with your friends. So its better to listen actively with just a nod , a sound or a word. This may help your friend feel better and think better , thus strengthening your relationship.
  2. Avoid dismissing your friends thoughts and feelings. This may leave him/her less interested to talk to you. Rather put his/her thoughts and feelings into words. It is much easier to talk to someone who who accepts your feelings and gives you a chance to come to your conditions.
  3. Instead of dismissing wishes, give them in fantasy, what you cannot give in reality.When a friend dismisses your wishes and put you down for even having them , you can feel demeaned and frustrated. It is easier to deal with reality if the friend can give us what we want i fantasy.
  4. Rather than returning the result, say what you feel. Dont counterattack, but tell your friend about how you feel when you are insulted that way and what would you like or prefer.
  5. Praise your friend honestly. You need not butter, just explain briefly what you like summing up with a word like – good, beautiful, wonderful etc.
  6. Learn to say “NO ” politely. Never allow anybody to influence or pressurize you to do the things you dislike to perform. Firmly tell them that you cannot be a part of the activity and briefly tell why. Don’t let such activities affect your friendship if you really value it. Stay on and respect each other .

 

SO ALWAYS REMEMBER  FEELINGS , CIVILITY  AND WORDS DO MATTER . RUDE WORDS , INSULT AND PUNISHMENTS HAVE NO PLACE IN CARING RELATIONSHIPS. OUR DIFFERENCES SHOULD NOT DEFEAT US . WE ALL NEED TO FEEL VALUED . SO LOVE YOUR FRIENDS AND ENJOY POSITIVELY.

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Filed under I am Gr8 ; You are Gr8

A BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY TO YOUR INNER SELF

I started Meditating six years back and felt that it was the best thing happened to me .

This has encouraged me to share with as many people as possible how we can utilize this wonderful , age-old , traditional yet so modern and useful technique to escape to a new wonderful world any  time you wish.

  1. CREATE A SPACE – Have a spare room or corner or a peaceful spot in a quite room that you can reserve for the purpose .
  2. HAVE THE RIGHT POSTURE – You can either sit on the floor with your legs crosses, or on the chair or you may simply lie down ; JUST KEEP YOUR BACK STRAIGHT.
  3. BREATH NATURALLY – Just inhale the oxygen through your nose and exhale completely either through mouth or nose.
  4. ATTENTION- Bring your attention to your breathing and follow the rhythm of your breath.
  5. SELF – TALK – You may create your own MANTRA or affirmation for whatever effect you wish to bring about ; for example I am so relaxed , I am very happy , My life is beautiful , I am very healthy  etc.
  6. PENETRATION – Allow the thought to penetrate in your body completely .
  7. VIBRATE – Now once your body is filled with your MANTRA  , allow / command your body to spread this affirmation / statement all around you in the environment.

LAW OF NATURE – Law of the nature is very simple. you simply receive you you give.

AS YOU WILL MAKE THIS SIMPLE EXERCISE PART OF YOUR EVERYDAY ROUTINE YOU WILL SEE AND FEEL THE MAGIC HAPPENING.

ALL THE BEST 🙂

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PARENTING MYTHS

Giving Children what they want will make them happy

In the present era, one commonly observes parents desperately trying to ensure that their children get what (in fact whatever!) they want. They find it difficult to say ‘No’ ,try to avoid anything that might cause the child distress ,including discipline.

The irony of the situation is that this constant indulgence is likely to ensure long term unhappiness rather than happiness for the children.

What we need to consider is that ‘wants’ are unending,and the child has to learn to operate in the large world.

When these children step out into the world, they are in for a rude shock. They find that they cannot always get what they want something that they had started considering their fundamental right! They learn, in fact, that people do not like them because they are rude and selfish. As parents, we need to emphasize the children’s long-term good rather than short-term happiness. The old fashioned methods of parenting had distinct advantages, because children were brought-up as a  part of the family, kin group and society instead of making them the fulcrum of all activities and making them feel as if they were the center of the universe. Children were corrected without hesitation, and they still felt loved while viewing the parents and other elders in the family with a healthy awe. e need to reach children that one does not always get what one wants!This lesson needs to begin at home. Children need to be taught to accept a ‘No’; to accept an instruction they don’t like. Watching their parents handle similar situations cheerfully could help!

 

How I treat my spouse and other family members doesn’t matter as long as I am loving towards my child

In the present times, it is not an uncommon sight to observe a parent being highly indulgent and affectionate towards the child, and having no qualms about mishehaving with the spouse, the grandparents , or others in the family.

One forgets the saying: ”life is a boomerang- what you give comes back to you”. Larger issues notwithstanding , the fact is that this doesn’t do much good to the child. Children learn a lot by observing – regardless of whether the same is intended or not! Convicts and discord are best avoided . Rather, one should focus on being a good role-model for the child.

 

You should always explain the reason to the child

Giving explanations and elaborating on the rationale is deemed to help children understand ‘ why’ they have been asked to do something. However , the flip side is that the children grow up expecting justifications and explanations from their parents for every request and instruction! Imagine having to provide a reason to the child (and ensure its acceptability to the child!) for each and everything you want the child to do; from childhood through adolescence! Life may become a constant battle of wits. Further, at times it may be vital that the child follow the instantaneously ( say, when crossing the road ),with the parent being assured of the same.

 

You should be a friend to your Child

This statement should not be implemented in toto! While you would do well to always be available to your child, and inspire enough confidence that your child is able to share his/her wishes, dreams and worries with you, you need to basically remain a parent! Thus, you need to ensure that the child does the right thing; placing limits and drawing boundaries, and making clear that everything is not negotiable.A parent needs to have a certain degree of authority and provide clear responsibility of parents to raise decent, well- adjusted members of society, and fulfillment of this responsibility is not possible without setting limits. Friendships are based on casualness and equality. Yet, for parenting to be affective, children need to respect parental authority.

 

Parents should always praise children to motivate them to behave well

do not take children to be fools! They are able to make out when the praise is genuine and well- earned, and when it is not! Praise works best when it is well-deserved . Often a simple smile or look of approval, or a pat on the shoulder is enough to make the child glow. experts opine that both praise and criticism have a greater impact when they are used sparingly and in well-deserved instances.

 

 

 

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